BDSM is about consent

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BDSM is a type of sex play that involves acts of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Some people derive pleasure directly from pain or violence, but for many, the excitement comes from the manipulation or subversion of power dynamics within relationships.

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Getting Frisky Without Being Risky

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My boyfriend and I are disease-free and we both dislike condoms, but neither of us want an accidental pregnancy. I take the pill, and he uses the “pull-out” method, but other than that and peeing before sex to clear out sperm from pre-ejaculate fluid, are we taking every possible precaution? I don’t want to feel like we’re taking a huge gamble every time we have sex, and I don’t really know how big of a risk we’re taking. I feel like the law of probability will catch up to us the longer we stay together. —Law of ProbaPILLity

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This question was originally asked October 29th, 2013.

Male Sexual Abuse

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This is a weird question to ask, but it’s a topic that I have rarely seen or read about in the media. I am a male in my mid-20s, and I was at a party recently where I think that I was sexually harassed, dare I say abused by this drunk girl. Everyone says that I am overreacting; now I feel guilty, dirty and undignified. Am I overreacting? —Anonymous

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This question was originally asked October 29th, 2013.

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The Menstrual Cup: Part II

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“Last week’s column was the first of a two-part feature on the Diva Cup, where I outlined my reasons for switching from tampons to a menstrual cup. This week, I’ll be sharing my personal observations since making the switch two years ago.”

For my thoughts on the menstrual cup check out the original article in The Link! sexandpancakesweb_800_1782.jpg This article was originally published October 21st, 2013.

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The Menstrual Cup: Part I

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“I used to see and experience my period the same way I still see many women around me do: as an inconvenience, as waste, as something gross or unnatural that my body did. But this all started to change after a column I wrote two years ago.”

For my thoughts on the menstrual cup check out the original article in The Link! sexandpancakesweb_800_1782.jpg This article was originally published October 15th, 2013.

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Too Short for Doggy Style?

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There is a large height difference between my lover and me, and we sometimes have a hard time finding a sex position we can both do. We’ve tried and failed to get into several more adventurous positions and end up getting stuck in the same old poses. I want to switch things up, but could I really be “too short” for doggy style?
—Position Problems

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This question was originally asked October 8th, 2013

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Yeast infection or Chlamydia?

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I always thought yeast infections and chlamydia were the same thing, but I recently had my first yeast infection and my friend said it was probably from wearing a pad for too long. I’m wondering what the difference is, since they’ve always seemed similar to me. How I can avoid future yeast infections?
-Confused about Candida 

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This question was originally asked October 1st, 2013

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How I Let Street Harassers Into My Head—and How I Got Them Out

“This is the story of how I stopped letting street harassment get to me. It’s hard to pinpoint when exactly it started to affect me, but one moment definitely stands out. I was waiting at a bus stop wearing a strapless shirt and shorts when a guy yelled out, “I’d love to bend you over,” and no one reacted.”

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This article originally posted September 30, 2013

Toying with it

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I easily masturbate on average twice a day, once if I’m really tired. Unfortunately I haven’t invested in toys yet, but I’m wondering if I will eventually lose sensitivity. Does masturbating too much have any harmful side effects on my sex life?

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This question was originally asked September 17th, 2013

Do you kegel?

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“Like many women my age, I grew up on an unhealthy-but-steady diet of Cosmo magazines filled with articles like “How to Please Your Man” and “The Sex Positions that Will Blow His Mind. So the first time I heard of kegels, they were presented as this magical trick used to surprise any man with my incredibly tight love muscles! I was only thirteen (and didn’t have a man) but Cosmo was the Bible, so I took it very seriously…

To learn more about Kegels and their benefits read the rest of this article in The Link!

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This question was originally asked September 10, 2013