Getting Frisky Without Being Risky


My boyfriend and I are disease-free and we both dislike condoms, but neither of us want an accidental pregnancy. I take the pill, and he uses the “pull-out” method, but other than that and peeing before sex to clear out sperm from pre-ejaculate fluid, are we taking every possible precaution? I don’t want to feel like we’re taking a huge gamble every time we have sex, and I don’t really know how big of a risk we’re taking. I feel like the law of probability will catch up to us the longer we stay together. —Law of ProbaPILLity

Check out what I had to say in The Link!

This question was originally asked October 29th, 2013.

Sexual Health Basics

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In the final Sex & Pancakes of the semester I went answered some recurring questions I receive. Among them are:

What’s the deal with testing?
Do I need to get a pap test every year?
How do I get the morning after pill?
Where can I get free condoms?

Check out what I had to say in The Link!


Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory

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Scarleteen has put together a really awesome “Yes, No, Maybe So” sexual inventory. A sexual inventory is a list of different experiences to help you consider what you might enjoy and what you are or aren’t open to trying with or without a partner. Different topics include Body Boundaries, Words & Terms, Relationship Models & Choices, Safer Sex & Overall Safety Items and Behaviours, Sexual Responses, Physical and/or Sexual Activities, Non-Physical Sexual Activities, and Birth Control/Reproductive Choices.

Something especially awesome about this particular list is that it includes a fantasy section!

This list can be used in different ways so here are a few:

  • To set boundaries. Sometimes in the heat of the moment or when we really care about someone we can get carried away and go a little further than we wanted to. The beauty of a sexual inventory is that you can consider a variety of situations and your own boundaries on your own and without any outside pressure so if or when the time comes that you’re presented with them you’ll feel a little more confident knowing where you draw the line.
  • To separate fantasies from reality. Many people have fantasies they wouldn’t actually ever want to act on for whatever reasons and sometimes it can be hard to separate fantasy from reality. It’s usually good to know the difference so that you don’t end up feeling really uncomfortable trying to make a fantasy-only situation a reality. 
  • It can be hot. An inventory can be really hot if you’re down to share it with a partner. It can get you talking about things you’re into and want to try with something concrete to fall back on if you feel awkward.
  • It can change. It can be something you reevaluate because over time the way you feel about certain things will likely change, while others might stay the same.

Also check out Taking Sexual Stock, a column I wrote in January about the Sexual Inventory!